Queen Sweeper

Her identity has been distorted to protect her privacy, but I just wanted to let you see that I've got help around the house. Yep, I start 'em young! I don't know if you can tell, but she's getting ready to put on her tiara, because doesn't every woman wear her tiara when vacuuming?

I do.

Don't worry, she was at the end of her day. She'd already scrubbed the toilets and bathed the dog.

Has it come to this?

Ughhhh. This was our lunch. Actually, it was the darlings' lunch, and unfortunately, mine too. I'm just not a spagetti-o and dino bites kind of girl. You would think that chicken scraps nuggets processed cut into dinosaur shapes would make the dinning experience more enjoyable, but alas, it did not.

The darlings were slightly more accepting of this lunch. Little Man entertained us by biting the heads off all of his dinosaurs, then letting out a maniacal laugh after each decapitation. Ha,a,a........... The dino slaughter was the only good thing I can say about the whole lunch.

Man, I need to go out. I've got to get a babysitter so Darling Man and I can go on a date. I need a margarita....a big one....Ha,a,a...........

By the way...what kind of lunatic takes a picture of her lunch?

She Said It Would Happen

Once again, I must doff my hat to my mother. Even as a teenager I can remember her telling me to write names on the back of photos because, "after a few years, you may not remember who it is." What? How could that possibly happen? - I thought in my naive hubris. Well, it happened (I hear you snickering, Mom). One of the darlings came across this picture and asked me who it is. Because I spend all my free time at the spa, Junior League, or shopping, I hadn't taken the time to write the baby's name on the back. Oh, it's Second Darling. Wait a minute, it's First Darling. Let me see that thing!

I was ashamed that I couldn't recognize the back of one of my baby's head. (In a sappy, precious way, this could have been any of my four babies). After studying the picture, I was only able to determine who it is by recognizing the groovy wood paneling behind her. This picture was taken at my parents' previous house...the one they moved from the month after Second Darling was born. Thus, logic tells me that she wouldn't be standing, so therefore it must be the First Darling. Ta-da!

So, be sure to write names on the back of your pictures...because the warnings your mom gave you do come true!

My Party Girl

Yes, dear readers. Those are panties on my daughter's head. Thank God they were from the clean laundry basket. I don't know what possessed her to put them on her head, or why she should try to lock me out of the bathroom when I saw that she had them. What has me worried is that I didn't see this kind of behavior until I was at Baylor U. sorority and frat parties....and those people were drunk! She's less than two years old, and completely sober I hope. This does not bode well.

On another note...Super Dog was almost super-dead when I saw this.....
This is $9-a-jar "Dr. Smith's Diaper Ointment." It started out as a brand new container. Yes, those are teeth marks on the lid. He chewed the lid till he was able to pop it off, then slurped up three quarters of the ointment. (By the way, Dr. Smith's is awesome stuff...for diaper rashes, not dogs). Super Dog did all this while sitting on the couch next to Little Man who was watching an afternoon cartoon. I guess he figured Super Dog knew what he was doing. I couldn't get too mad though, because this is the third jar of Dr. Smith's the dog has eaten. I never thought I'd be choosing diaper rash treatment based on what my dog wouldn't eat.

That Kind of Morning

It's only 10:30am, but it's already become "one of those" mornings. My breakfast consisted of Reece's peanut butter cups, and diet coke - not because I'm binging, but because we're out of milk for cereal, and it's time to go to the grocery store.

Darlings one and two fussed about morning cartoons, so the TV was instantly shut down. That left a grumpy cloud hanging over everyone. Before the TV was banished, Darling One and Little Man watched Darling Four empty the wipee box without flinching. I walked into the den to find a wipee-covered floor! (Do you know how much those things cost?)

So to add to the joy, I laid down the hammer and said "CLEAN UP"! So, for the past few minutes, and as I type, darlings are scurrying around picking up pieces of paper, incomplete puzzles, and anything else that is on the floor. Yes, I realize that I'm not helping them. That's the point. I've given myself a time-out...and it just happens to be on my blog. I am giddy with anticipation to tell them once they're done with their Cinderella impersonations, that it's time for school! Ha-ha-ha.......oh yea, it promises to be a day filled with sunshine and lollipops!

Public Service Announcement: Hey, you! If you haven't marked yourself on my map, please, please, please do! If you already have, thank you. I'm sure you'll be subpoenaed as witnesses when they take me away to the funny farm.

Do you have weekend plans?

I saw this video on the I,Breeder blog at newsweek.com, and laughed harder than I have in a long time. Holy cow - they're right! Listen at the end of the song for the reference to Gymboree guest passes.....too funny!!!!!

Be Afraid

This is frightening on so many levels. It makes me look at arranged marriages for my daughters in a new light.

Grammar School Car Surfing

It's taken me a while to get used to the acrobatics that Second Darling has perfected in her gymnastics class. I've quit dialing 9-1- and waiting for the last -1 while she's leaping and rolling on the balance beam. I've had plenty of lectures about brain injuries from Darling Man, so needless to say, we're not into high risk activities.

But today, my cheese almost slid off the cracker. I looked out our big glass doors to see her car surfing on the battery powered mini cars that Uncle Jack Sparrow gave the darlings for Christmas. I leaped over tall piles of laundry in a single bound, almost landing on Super Dog, as I ran for the door. Of course First Darling, who was doing the driving, was laughing her head off. (The utter fun that I'm sure this was, was not lost on me; but remember, Darling Man tells me all sorts of hospital-horror-stories.

So, between the sound of the little car running and First Darling's laughter, my screaming like a crazy person was all for naught. I was running behind the car to catch them. Remind me again, Mom, why a big back yard is such a great thing? Little Man, and Fourth Darling were harvesting pecans as they watched me get more exercise than I have in a long time. Once I got the Darlings, they quickly obeyed, and looked at me like "what's the big deal?" Nobody thanked me for saving them from certain fun doom.

After the darlings were in bed tonight, and I told this story to Darling Man, we both agreed we would have done the same thing if we had been given the chance.

The Way Many Americans See Homeschoolers