Sunday, March 9, 2008

Grocery Shopping Tantrum

Teasers from news shows always reel me in. "How to buy groceries for a month for as little as $100." "This mom of seven spends $50 on groceries." "Suburban mom actually makes money when she grocery shops!"

I clip coupons, I buy in bulk, and I've read every grocery shopping tips website, and our grocery bill is still close to $800 a month!

Apparently there's some pot-o-gold place to live in America where grocery stores triple coupons and have awesome sales. Not in Texas. Here it seems as if we're lucky to use a manufacturer's coupon, one per person.

Last week I did our bi-monthly shopping at our local warehouse extortioner store. I bought only necessities. Milk (three gallons), eggs (two dozen), bread (two loaves), cereal, toilet paper (36 rolls), apple juice (four gallons), etc. Okay, maybe the grapes were a splurge since it's not officially spring yet. It's a double edged sword though, because I'd rather have the kids snacking on fruits and veggies, but there so freak'in expensive. No cookies, no fruit chewies, no Cheeze-Its (much to Second Darling's dismay), and no diapers (bought them last time). When the poor, unsuspecting checker told me the total, I almost had an aneurysm. Aaaaggghhhh!!!! I didn't even have everything on my list....I still had to get some things at a traditional supermarket. $65 was just fruit and vegetables!!!!

What terrifies me to my very soul is that I hear horror stories about how much teenagers eat. Holy cow! My oldest is only nine!

My parents just smile and think I'm ranting when I talk about planting a garden because I can't keep houseplants alive and smuggling a few chickens into the backyard (for their eggs). I'm only half kidding. A few more grocery trips with $65 worth of oranges and lettuce, and you'll find my kids digging plowing up the backyard. It's about time I put them to work, anyway.