Guess which one is me.

If you believed the message of this original piece of art, you would think that I was a googly-eyed crazy lady wielding a sad-faced stick. In reality, this is Second Darling getting a spanking with the spanking spoon (haven't you ever seen a wooden spoon frown?). Unfortunately, she chose to pull a Bill Clinton on me (duh, she lied). There are very few things that warrant a spanking in our house, but lying is one of those things. So, she was "admonished," "physically encouraged" to not lie...okay, she was spanked.

Apparently, she was displeased. She drew this picture on the back of her math paper that we were working on together, and I think she was actually pretty steamed that the drawing didn't make me mad. I actually thought it was pretty funny. On our break, I ran and scanned it, and then sent it to Darling Man at work. I was just happy I could count this as art class and a counseling session!

By-the-way, how impressed are you that I figured out how to use the scanner without burning the house down? Yes, I know. I'm a genius.

Welcome to the Jungle

I'm really disappointed in how little people seem to truly think for themselves. Just throw some pretty words at them, and they'll buy anything. Did you hear that crazy lady at an Obama rally that is so excited because he's going to buy her gas? Can you say delusional? Look for it on YouTube.

Also, does it strike anyone else as creepy/weird/ foreboding at how excited people in other countries are at the results of this election? I'm sure several goats, chickens and fattened calves have been sacrificed all over the third world, and in some areas of New Jersey. When was the last time you danced in the street upon hearing a German prime minister was elected?

I think the true feelings of Americans are playing out in the stock market. Have you been watching it nose dive? You can see what's important to people when you look at their money.

Hey, hey. Party, party, party because Obama will take care of all of us bitter Americans who are clinging to our religion and guns.

Hey Mom.....

Hey mom...do still have that KNIFE in your purse? These are not the words you want shouted across the public transportation bus as you barrel through downtown. Last Thursday, I had a meeting with one of my professors and thought it would be a great opportunity to take the Darling girls on the bus (Little Man was at preschool). They had been wanting to try it out. Darling Grandmom came along for crowd control. Each girl packed a lunch box with snacks so that they could eat while I was in my meeting. Apples were on the menu, and because my darlings lean to the "princess" side, the apples must be cut up. So, my mother packed a paring knife for that purpose. Of course, the unwashed masses on the bus were lacking this context, so when First Darling clearly yelled out what she did, all I could do was smile sweetly, and hope nobody else on the bus could speak English.

Even though I tried to look as demurely non-threatening as possible, if my writing schedule gets any heavier, I may end up looking like the picture of Joan Crawford that I've posted.

Finally someone explains it!

If you can sit still long enough to get through this skit, it's hilarious and sad - all at the same time. I actually laughed out loud!

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Do you think she's seen this somewhere at home? Yes, I'll admit that I'm a sucker for multi-tasking - if nothing else, for survival. Although unlike Fourth Darling, I do usually wear clothes. I have been known to nurse, write on the laptop and talk on the phone at the same time, so I guess her depiction is not that far off. I just thought this picture was too cute, and a little poignant.

Projects and papers are coming due soon, so it may be a while, (more than usual), until I post again. If you're wondering what I'm up to, just look back at this picture!

Whatever Makes You Happy

Sooooo, I'm well into the fall semester now, and I've learned a few things....not necessarily part of the curriculum. I have learned that the dark, disturbing and salacious not only sell books on the Oprah's Book Club, but also in academia. My motherhood in literature class has moved beyond "ick" to down right nasty and disturbing. I completely quit reading one book in the middle because it was so vile. I actually turned to an online "cliff notes" to get my assignment done, and even that was too much information. To add to my affection for this class, I got a C on my first paper. Son of a *!?%$!

Another thing I have learned is that it is really hard to find a pair of shoes that are cute and at the same time, not crippling. Like any goofy freshman wearing headgear and braces, I made the rookie mistake of wearing some cutsie Mary Janes to my first day of class. Half way to my class (which is quite a jaunt) I was walking like the hunchback of Notre Dame. I was seconds away from just taking them off and walking barefoot, but really, ugh. Of course, I paid a whopping $9 at Wal-Mart for those shoes. Upon further research, and one last step in faith, I found and wore some oh-so-cute shoes that didn't make me cuss. True, I did pay a little more (don't tell Darling Man, quite a lot more), but don't you like? I am beginning to appreciate the female fetish with shoes.
After the soul-sucking experience in the above mentioned literature class, it's amazing how looking at these shoes cheered me up.

Let me tell you, schlepping a book bag is much more burdensome than a fully loaded diaper bag. I think there's something cosmic about that.

Any-hoo. I just finished another paper for the motherhood class. I hope I do better. When I got that C, I had a mini nervous breakdown on the ride home with Darling Man.

Don't forget to register to vote!

Eeeeppp!!!!

Well kids, I'm into my third week of classes. To put it bluntly, I think I'm getting ready to have my butt handed to me on a silver platter. I'm feeling like the cat in this picture.

The class I'm taking in "special topics, in Motherhood" is just such a disappointment. My idealistic hopes of beautifully literary examples of motherhood have been dashed on the feminist alter of cynicism. We are reading Franco-Caribbean and Afro-American authors' examples of "the bad mother." Holy cow...could it be any more dreary? Of course, it took mere minutes for me to be pinned as a right-wing-intolerant-prejudiced-patriarchal-ruled-woman. It's going to take a miracle, literally, to get out of this class with a decent paper. The excitement has been squished out of me like a two-day-old-dried-road-kill-frog.

My second class, which is a broad survey, looks like it'll be more interesting, but after getting the voluminous book list, today the prof told us that the list was the "launching point." What the *$#%???? We're supposed to research more books that we want to analyze and present to the class. Launching point? Is he high? Maybe I should be high.

Miracle-of-miracles, homeschooling has been going well. Little Man started his preschool and is just flourishing. Fourth Darling is having mild issues with not calling the shots. Overall though, that part of our life is going well. The First and Second Darlings are cooperating, thank GOD! If they ever figure out that they can mutiny, it's totally over.